It wasn’t long after arriving at the safe house, I was asked to help create a schedule of things to keep busy and stay proactive. I wasn’t quite sure what that word meant, but I quickly learned staying proactive meant to think and take action about what I could control, and accept the things I couldn’t. As I was working on my schedule, I first figured out what I could control and that was what I did each day until all of those things that I couldn’t control would be in my control, or something which I didn’t have to fear anymore.
I couldn’t control that I had a criminal record regardless of the situation that had led to it. I couldn’t control that there were people who would and could hurt me if they knew where I was. I couldn’t control when the right time would be for me to reunite with my family, and most especially my children, regardless of how hard my heart ached to see them again.
Regardless of the fear and hurt, I felt a gentle nudging on my heart to just try. I closed my eyes and watched a rewind of my life over the last 15 years…. I searched my mind and memories as I prayed to God silently, to show me what I was meant to do next and where I was meant to go from here….